Jul 117 min read

Transitioning Your Toddler from a Crib to a Big Kid Bed: A Comprehensive Guide

By: Sarah Bossio, Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert

Toddlers are magical little unicorns who always keep us on our toes, especially when it comes to sleep. One of the biggest challenges is transitioning them to their big kid bed. In this guide, we will discuss the best time for this transition and how to do it successfully without impacting overnight sleep.

When to Make the Crib to Bed Transition

Age Considerations: The Magical Number Three

If your child is under the age of three...

Then I don't want you to transition them out of their crib as long as you're able to help it. The only exception to this is if your toddler is climbing out of the crib and it's becoming dangerous. For example, if you've put the mattress on the floor, and you've turned the crib around with the high back facing out so that there's less leverage for them to get over the crib, but they just won't stop climbing — that's the exception. And you are in the right place to learn how to successfully make the transition!

If your child is over the age of three...

If your child is old enough and maybe you need the crib for a younger sibling, or maybe your child is getting too big for the crib (there may be multiple reasons why you're ready to make this move), then I want you to hold out until the age of three as long as you can.

Why is three a magical number? It has to do with impulse control. Our three-year-olds don't yet have great impulse control. When you're children turn three, they are developmentally able to understand the idea of pausing and thinking before acting, even if it's for just three or four seconds.

This is unlike a two-year-old, who is not going to pause and think in the same way — they don't have the ability to do that yet as it’s just not developmentally appropriate. If a two-year-old is in a big kid bed, whether it's a toddler bed or an actual twin or queen-sized bed, and they get up in the middle of the night, they're just going to get up and go find mom and dad because now they have free range of the house. There is no inner control to say, "Oh, it's nighttime; I should be sleeping." They don't have that logic.

Once our children turn three and they age into the three-to-four-year-old range, they're going to have a better chance at actually pausing to consider, "Oh, it's dark; that means I should still be sleeping," and they're not going to get out of bed and go search for Mom and Dad (hopefully). But if they do, we'll talk about how to prevent that...

Choosing the Right Bed for Your Big Kid

Toddler Bed vs. Adult Bed

A big question that parents often have for me is, "Should I convert the crib to the toddler bed?"

Parents want to know exactly what piece of furniture they should invest in for this transition. Obviously, this is dependent on your budget and your space in your room. However, I recommend forgoing the toddler bed.

There's really no reason to use the toddler bed. It is definitely something that makes us feel better because it's the same familiar space, just lowered and with the barriers down. However, using a toddler bed is going to make it harder for you on the nights where you may need to be in your child's room longer throughout the night.

In my own daughter's room, we have a twin-sized bed that has a trundle underneath so that on nights when she's really sick and I need to spend the night with her, I am more comfortable. I just pull out the trundle bed and sleep there. It's also going to be great for years down the road if she ever has a sleepover with her cousins or with her friends.

For my oldest daughter, we were able to give her a queen-sized bed because she has more space in the room. This is great because, not only am I able to share a room with her when she's having an off night, but it also provides a space for guests. When company is in town, she shares a room with her sister on the trundle bed.

Ultimately, I recommend going straight to "big people furniture" and forgoing the purchase of an actual toddler bed.

Establishing Boundaries for Big Kid Bed Transition Success

I want it to be successful when you do make the transition to a big kid bed, so the first thing to keep in mind is to ensure you're continuing to establish boundaries.

To make a successful transition, it really is essential that your child is falling asleep independently and sleeping throughout the night. Because keep in mind, if they weren't falling asleep independently and sleeping throughout the night when they were contained in a crib, then there's no way they're going to stay in a big kid bed now that the physical barriers are removed.

Using a Gate

Something you might consider is using a gate. If this sounds off putting, think about when you put your child in the crib. You've created a boundary around a safe space for them to sleep and you don't second guess when you are closing the door behind you. So, I want you to feel confident in creating a boundary at the door by using a gate. What you're doing is essentially making the whole room a big crib.

There is nothing wrong with putting an extra-tall gate anchored into the walls so that your child is not able to operate. This will ensure that they understand: this is the boundary. You establish the rule: If you have trouble controlling your body, Mom and Dad keep you safe by closing the gate to keep you in your room.

Using Visual Cues

In addition to having a gate, it's also helpful to have some other visual cues to remind your child, without our words and our prompts, that it is time to sleep.

If you have a Hatch, it can be helpful to set the Hatch to red when it's time to sleep while using the phrase, "Red means in bed." It's a great visual cue so that at bedtime, or if they wake up in the night, they're ideally looking at the Hatch and knowing, "It's red. That means I'm supposed to be asleep," as opposed to calling out for you.

Alternatively, you can use a toddler clock. Try to use one that has a face that "goes to sleep" when your child should be sleeping, and is "awake" when your child can be awake.

These are all really great ways to support your child behaviorally to help them understand what the expectation is because they can't yet tell time. Young children don't yet understand that in the summer when the sun is still out at bedtime, that it may be time to sleep; and when it's winter and it's dark in the morning, it may be time to wake up and go to school. It's our job as parents to give them extra support to help them learn.

Have a Behavior Plan

It is essential that you have a behavior plan for how to manage any out-of-bed behavior or any refusal to lie down.

This is what I help families with one-on-one all of the time. I have a specific toddler sleep program that explains the science of toddler behavior, how to manage toddler behavior, how to support their behavior both at nap times and at bedtimes when we are using a big kid bed, and when we may not be using a gate because that's not aligned with our family's philosophy.

If you're looking for more information about how to specifically work one-on-one with me and you want specific personalized guidance, book a call with me so I can assess your sleep situation. It's a really great way to avoid piecing together lots of free information and just get the job done in a really efficient amount of time with some expert eyes on your sleep situation.

What to Expect

How long does it take to make the transition to a big kid bed?

I know this is vague and probably not the answer you're looking for, but it depends on the child, their sleep foundation, and their personality.

Some kids are really easy-going. They have a really great sleep foundation and it's as if there is no difference for them; they just make a smooth transition from the crib to the big kid bed.

Neither one of my kids were like that. Our transitions were much harder and took a lot longer. This is also the case with all of the families I support, so you are not alone.

So if you're struggling, I want you to look at behavior and make sure we have a really consistent plan as to how to manage when your child is refusing to lie down, how to manage that impulse control, and how to even manage our expectations.

If it's taking longer than 2 or 3 weeks at this point, maybe you need to change the plan or reach out for extra help.

If you're a toddler parent, let me know by leaving me a comment and tell me how old your toddler is. Are they in the crib or the big kid bed? Are you contemplating making the switch to a big kid bed? If so, when? I would love to help assist you a little bit, and we can do that by interacting right here on my blog.

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