By: Sarah Bossio, Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert
When Benji was a baby, his parents faced the kind of sleepless nights that many parents know all too well. He was co-sleeping with them, constantly waking up every few hours, and couldn't fall asleep alone. Benji needed his parents to help him fall back to sleep every time he woke, meaning they were all getting little rest. As loving and devoted as they were, they knew something had to change. They needed a solution that would help Benji sleep better and give them the chance to rest.
You're not alone if you're a parent going through the same thing. These struggles are more common than you might think. Many parents find themselves co-sleeping, waking up multiple times a night, or feeling like their child depends on them for sleep. It can be draining, emotionally and physically. But here's the thing—sleep training can help. It's not about letting your child "cry it out" or making things more challenging for you as a parent. Instead, it's about gently helping your child learn to sleep on their own.
Therefore, don't panic if you think your circumstances are comparable to those of Benji's parents. A practical way to improve both your baby's and your own sleep is through sleep training.
Benji's Story: A Wakeup Call
Benji's parents started to worry as the days became restless nights. "What if he's just a bad sleeper?" they began to wonder. They were emotionally and physically worn out from the frequent awakenings and nursing requirements. They had no idea what to do. They had doubts about sleep training and even wondered if it would be effective for them. They were terrified of failing. Despite their reluctance, they recognized that something needed to change. Their biggest concern was whether they could help Benji sleep better or if it was just how things would be.
With these struggles in mind, they were ready to explore the possibility of sleep training, though with some doubts. Little did they know that the journey they were about to take would be the start of something transformative.
But the question remained—was it the right time? The next step in their journey would help them find the answer.
The Parent's Goal: Achieving Better Sleep
Benji's family desired little peace at night, much like a lot of other parents. They were focused on a few specific objectives. They first hoped Benji would learn to fall asleep independently without requiring frequent rocking or nursing. They also wanted to get him down to just one-night feed instead of multiple wakeups so that everyone could sleep more soundly. Finally, they dreamed of having Benji take naps in his crib—a space where he could sleep independently and develop healthy sleep habits.
The Family's Concerns
Benji's parents, however, couldn't get rid of the idea that they were putting themselves in a precarious situation. It was difficult to disregard the possibility of failure. Is Benji ever going to be able to sleep alone? Would he turn down the crib and refuse to nap? They wondered if sleep training was just another thing they wouldn't get any use out of. They were concerned that Benji might be one of those babies who struggled to fall asleep no matter how hard they tried.
Nevertheless, they were prepared to try anything. They realized they couldn't continue as they were since the weariness from the restless nights was beginning to wear them down. They therefore choose to have faith in the process in spite of their reservations. They had no idea how drastically their sleep patterns would change as a result of a minor adjustment to their routine.
Sleep Training Method: The Plan
Benji's parents were aware that not all sleep training methods would be effective for their sensitive child when the time came to choose one. They decided on the time-check approach after giving it some consideration and consulting with others.
This method perfectly fit Benji because it offered a gentle and gradual approach. This method involves checking on Benji frequently to reassure him that he was safe without lifting him up or breastfeeding him back to sleep, as opposed to letting him scream it out. As a result, Benji was able to gradually acquire the ability to self-soothe and go to sleep on his own without feeling abandoned.
Nap Schedule
Benji's journey toward sleep training was greatly facilitated by the addition of a third nap to his daily routine. The fact that naps significantly affect a baby's bedtime routine may surprise you. If Benji wasn't getting enough daytime sleep, it affected his ability to rest well at night. By adding that extra nap, Benji could get more rest during the day, which in turn helped him sleep better and longer at night. The positive effects were apparent: as Benji's nap schedule became more consistent, so did his ability to sleep through the night.
Support & Program Design
As a sleep coach, I worked closely with Benji's parents for two weeks. They weren't alone in this. We kept the strategy simple, tactful, and achievable. I checked in with them daily, gave them advice, and emphasized the importance of continuity. Even if some nights were difficult, they persisted. And gradually, they saw advancements. They found optimism in every little victory, and Benji's sleep improved with every step.
The Results: The Transformation
Timeline of Progress
Although Benji's sleep journey wasn't without its ups and downs, the outcomes were astounding when he was patient and consistent.
Night 1: It was a difficult first night. Benji had trouble falling asleep and woke up a lot. Despite the uncertainties, his parents adhered to the plan because they knew it was the best one for Benji.
Night 7: Considerable progress had been made by the seventh night. Benji was beginning to sleep for longer periods of time and wake up less frequently. The family could see the benefits of the time-check approach and their commitment to the schedule.
Night 14: On night 14, Benji achieved a huge milestone: he slept through the night—a full 12 hours! The whole family celebrated as they saw the transformation that had taken place in just two weeks.
Final Reflection
Benji's story demonstrates that sleep training is effective when done correctly and according to a personalized strategy. Any parent may help their child transition to independent sleep with time, trial and error, and individualized support. Although it wasn't simple, the outcomes—better sleep for all—spoke for themselves.
To all the parents who are having trouble sleeping, keep in mind that you may make progress. Having a professional lead you through the procedure can sometimes make all the difference, so don't be hesitant to ask for help if you need it. You can also benefit from patience, consistency, and the appropriate strategy.
Did you know? I also host a weekly Q&A on my Instagram. Tune in or send me a DM on the 'gram!
I work with families one-on-one all the time who are experiencing issues with their babies' naps, overnight sleep, and more. If this sounds like you, please book a 15-minute sleep assessment call just so I can understand a little bit more about your child's sleep and then explain ways that I can work one-on-one with you to get it in order.
May your coffee be warm,
Sarah
Sarah is a Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert based in the NY/NJ Tri-State area and has helped over 500 families worldwide get their sleep back on track.
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