By: Sarah Bossio, Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert
One of the biggest challenges parents face with sleep training is crying. Hearing your little one cry can be heart-wrenching. Many parents avoid sleep training because they don’t want to deal with tears. But what if you could minimize crying while still helping your child sleep through the night?
As a Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert, I want to create a judgment-free, supportive space for all parents. I understand that every child and their sleep needs are different.
Today, I’ll share strategies beyond traditional sleep training techniques to help you establish a consistent bedtime routine for your little ones.
Let’s examine how morning and daytime interactions set the tone for better nights.
The Domino Effect of the Day on Bedtime
We often think of bedtime struggles as starting when the lights go out. But in reality, bedtime isn’t just about that final hour—it’s a reflection of everything that happens throughout the day. Babies, toddlers, and even adults can only handle so much stimulation before they unravel. When overtiredness, overstimulation, or unmet emotional needs pile up, bedtime battles are inevitable.
So, instead of just troubleshooting bedtime, let’s rewind and look at how you can set the stage for a smoother, tear-free night—starting from the moment your child wakes up.
1. Start with Morning Wake-Ups
How your child wakes up can set the tone for the entire day—and ultimately, bedtime. Whether it’s in the morning or after a nap, taking just five minutes to connect with them can make a big difference.
Try this:
Greet them with a warm hug, eye contact, and a few moments of undivided attention.
Engage in gentle morning play or quiet time before jumping into daily tasks.
Why it helps:
2. Managing Separation Anxiety Throughout the Day
One of the biggest sleep disruptors? Separation anxiety. If your little one resists bedtime, it might not just be about sleep—it could be the fear of being alone.
Ways to ease separation anxiety:
Practice brief separations during the day: Step into another room while talking to them so they learn you always come back.
Play peek-a-boo: Helps babies understand that things (and people!) exist even when out of sight.
Use visual schedules: Toddlers thrive on predictability. A simple picture schedule of their day can help them feel more in control.
3. Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment
Your child’s bedroom setup plays a huge role in how easily they settle down at night. A well-designed sleep space signals to their body that it’s time for rest.
How to optimize their room:
Keep it dark with blackout curtains.
Use white noise to block out household sounds.
Ensure a comfortable temperature—not too hot, not too cold.
Declutter to create a calming atmosphere.
4. Recognizing Physical Discomfort
Sometimes, bedtime resistance isn’t emotional—it’s physical. If your child is crying at bedtime, check for:
Hunger: A well-balanced dinner with protein and healthy fats can keep them full longer.
Teething or illness: Offer comfort measures like teething toys or gentle pain relief if needed.
Uncomfortable sleepwear: Opt for soft, breathable fabrics that don’t irritate their skin.
5. Implement a Consistent Bedtime Routine
A predictable bedtime routine is one of the most powerful tools for better sleep. The key? Keep it simple and consistent.
An ideal routine could include:
A warm bath to relax their muscles.
Soft music or lullabies to set a peaceful tone.
Reading a bedtime story to create positive associations with sleep.
A predictable sequence every night—because consistency builds sleep confidence.
6. Limit Screen Time Before Bed
Screens emit blue light, which interferes with melatonin production—the hormone that helps us sleep. This can make it harder for children to fall asleep.
Try this instead:
Engage in calming activities like coloring, puzzles, or quiet play.
7. Use Positive Reinforcement
Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong (“Stop crying!”), celebrate the small wins. Positive reinforcement makes children feel more confident about bedtime.
Examples of positive reinforcement:
Praise: “You did such a great job getting into bed calmly!” Encouraging words can help build a sense of accomplishment.
Sticker charts: Reward consistent bedtime behavior with stickers or small incentives to make bedtime feel like a fun, rewarding experience.
Gentle reassurance: Let them know they’re doing great, even if they struggle. A simple “I know bedtime can be tough, but you’re doing amazing!” can go a long way.
8. Avoid Overtiredness
An overtired child is more likely to cry at bedtime. Watch for sleep cues like rubbing eyes, yawning, or fussiness. Getting them to bed before they reach the overtired stage makes falling asleep easier.
Pro tip: If bedtime battles are common, I suggest trying to shift bedtime 15–30 minutes earlier (and see if it helps). A slight adjustment can make a big difference in reducing resistance.
Final Thoughts
Preventing crying at bedtime isn’t about eliminating all tears but reducing unnecessary distress. By focusing on emotional connection, separation anxiety, and a well-structured day, you can create a bedtime routine that feels safe, predictable, and soothing.
I’ve helped so many families overcome bedtime struggles and creating healthy sleep habits. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone! Head over to my channel, where I share more parenting tips, sleep strategies, and expert guidance. And if you need any support, feel free to reach out anytime. I’d love to help you and your little one with bedtime routine. 🌙✨
Lastly, remember that sleep is a journey and not a destination. Some nights will be easier than others, but with patience and consistency peaceful bedtimes are surely possible!
Did you know? I also host a weekly Q&A on my Instagram. Tune in or send me a DM on the 'gram!
I work with families one-on-one all the time who are experiencing issues with their babies' naps, overnight sleep, and more. If this sounds like you, please book a 15-minute sleep assessment call just so I can understand a little bit more about your child's sleep and then explain ways that I can work one-on-one with you to get it in order.
May your coffee be warm,
Sarah
Sarah is a Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert based in the NY/NJ Tri-State area and has helped over 500 families worldwide get their sleep back on track.
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