By: Sarah Bossio, Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert
One of the most common pieces of advice parents hear about baby sleep is:
"You have to put them in the crib awake."
And the most common response?
"Yeah, right! How is that supposed to happen?"
If you’re struggling to imagine your baby settling down without being completely passed out first, i am here to help you.
But here’s the truth: if your baby always falls asleep in your arms, they’ll wake up frequently throughout the night, needing that same comfort to go back to sleep. Today, I’m going to guide you step by step on how to put your baby or toddler in their crib awake—so they can develop strong independent sleep skills and sleep through the night.
Sleep Training is NOT Just Cry It Out
First, let’s clear something up—putting your baby in the crib awake is essentially sleep training, but sleep training doesn’t mean crying it out. Teaching your child any new skill comes with a learning curve.
Think about it like starting a new workout routine:
🏋️♀️ You wouldn’t expect to build muscles overnight after just one gym session.
🥦 You wouldn’t expect to eat one salad and suddenly be healthy.
📖 You wouldn’t expect to learn a new language in a single day.
The same goes for sleep skills. It takes practice, patience, and consistency.
Learning Sleep Like Learning to Walk
Let’s compare sleep training to learning how to walk.
When your baby is learning to walk, you:
✅ Create a safe space by removing hazards.
✅ Offer hands-on support as they practice.
✅ Gradually step back and let them gain independence.
✅ Understand that falling is part of the process.
Sleep works the same way! At first, your baby may need your help, but over time, they will learn to fall asleep on their own. And just like with walking, the more they practice, the better they’ll get at it.
Why Does It Matter?
If your baby always falls asleep while feeding, rocking, or being held, here’s what happens:
They wake up in the night feeling confused. Imagine going to sleep in your bed and waking up on the living room floor. You’d probably be a little freaked out too! Babies experience the same confusion.
They call for help because they don’t know how to go back to sleep. If they fell asleep in your arms, that’s where they’ll want to be again when they wake up.
They wake up more frequently. Sleep cycles naturally cause brief wake-ups. Babies who haven’t learned how to self-soothe will struggle to link sleep cycles.
The good news? This is all fixable!
Setting Up the Right Sleep Environment
Before starting this process, make sure your baby’s sleep environment is well set:
✅ A crib free of blankets and pillows (for babies under 12 months).
✅ A dark room (blackout curtains work wonders!).
✅ A sound machine for white noise to block out sudden sounds.
✅ A consistent bedtime routine to signal that sleep is coming.
A predictable, cozy environment makes it easier for your baby to settle down.
Preparing for Success
The key to minimizing frustration (for both you and your baby) is making sure they are well-rested before starting sleep training. Here’s how:
🔹 Ensure good daytime sleep. If naps are all over the place, nighttime sleep will be harder. A well-rested baby is much easier to put down awake.
🔹 Move bedtime earlier. Most parents I work with have a bedtime that’s an hour too late. Aim for 6:30–7:00 PM.
🔹 Stick to a routine. A predictable wind-down helps signal sleep time. (Example: Bath → Pajamas → Book → Crib.)
Choosing a Sleep Training Method
Just like with walking, different babies need different levels of support. Here are some methods to consider:
1. Chair Method
You stay near the crib and gradually move further away each night.
2. Time Checks
Check in at set intervals (e.g., 5 minutes, then 10, then 15).
3. Pick Up, Put Down
For younger babies, you can pick them up to soothe, then put them back down awake.
4. Full Extinction (Cry It Out)
Letting baby self-soothe without intervention, ensuring they are safe and supported.
I have in-depth guides and videos on each method, so find the one that feels right for your family.
The Process
Once you’ve chosen a method and set up a sleep-friendly environment:
1️⃣ Put your baby in the crib awake.
2️⃣ Follow the plan you chose.
3️⃣ Support them as they learn.
4️⃣ Understand that protest (crying) is part of the process. They’re not in distress; they’re adjusting to a new routine.
5️⃣ Stay consistent. This is the biggest key to success!
Your baby will learn to sleep independently. But, just like learning to walk, it takes time and practice.
Common Concerns Parents Have
💭 “What if my baby cries?”Your baby may protest because change is hard. But crying doesn’t always mean they are in distress—it just means they’re adjusting.
💭 “What if they don’t fall asleep right away?”That’s okay! They’re learning. It might take longer at first, but over time, they’ll get better.
💭 “Will this really work?”Yes! But only if you stay consistent. The biggest reason sleep training fails is because parents give up too soon.
Final Thoughts
Your baby can learn to fall asleep independently—just like they learned to roll, sit, and walk. It takes practice, patience, and the right plan. Stick with it, and soon you’ll be watching your little one drift off peacefully without needing to be rocked or fed to sleep. And trust me, both you and your baby will be sleeping so much better for it!
Need more guidance?
Did you know? I also host a weekly Q&A on my Instagram. Tune in or send me a DM on the 'gram!
I work with families one-on-one all the time who are experiencing issues with their babies' naps, overnight sleep, and more. If this sounds like you, please book a 15-minute sleep assessment call just so I can understand a little bit more about your child's sleep and then explain ways that I can work one-on-one with you to get it in order.
May your coffee be warm,
Sarah
Sarah is a Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert based in the NY/NJ Tri-State area and has helped over 500 families worldwide get their sleep back on track.
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