Too Many Activities, Too Little Sleep? The Art Of Balancing Big Kid Bedtimes
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By: Sarah Bossio, Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert
Hear me out, primary school is no joke! You thought being a toddler was crazy? Greetings from the important child era, where Scouts, dance class, soccer practice, schoolwork, and dinner all fight for attention. Somehow, among all this, you are expected to prioritize sleep, too? Yep. It's a juggling act that sometimes feels more like a three-ring circus. But here's the thing—you're not alone and don't have to sacrifice sleep (yours or theirs) to keep up.
I'm Sarah Bossio, your go-to Pediatric Sleep Consultant at Your Zen Baby Sleep. While I usually talk about babies and toddlers, today's blog is about those bigger kids who now have a later bedtime, tons of independence, and a schedule that could rival yours. Let's unpack what a realistic, sustainable after-school routine looks like when sleep is still a top priority.
When Bedtime Isn't 7:30 Anymore, But Sleep Still Matters
Here's the good news: with big kids, you're no longer a prisoner to early bedtimes and naptime schedules. You've got some breathing room. But that doesn't mean Sleep Duration doesn't count—it does. Elementary schoolers still need about 10-11 hours of sleep a night, so keeping a consistent bedtime is non-negotiable.
That said, your 8:30 PM lights-out doesn't need to feel like a mad dash every night. If you're intentional with your evenings, your kiddo can wind down, sleep well, and you can finally sit down with that glass of wine and a quiet couch.
After-School Storm? Meet the Power of Planning
Raise your hand if your calendar exploded somewhere around mid-September. One week, it's just gymnastics and reading group, and the next thing you know, you're driving across town with granola bars for dinner and wondering if your seven-year-old is secretly training for the Olympics.
What's helped me (and many of the families I support): time management is your best friend. It's not the kind that means colour-coding your life on a fancy fridge calendar unless you like that. For us? A shared Google Calendar with colour tags for each family member does the trick. A quick 20-minute Sunday planning session (just 20 minutes) sets the tone for a smoother week.
You can plug in meal times, homework blocks, and wind-down windows when you take a moment to review your week before it begins. You will be able to tell which nights are free and which are full. You can avoid making yourself or others weep by doing this and developing consistent routines..
Structuring the Evening Without Losing Your Mind
So, what does a realistic, sleep-friendly evening look like?
5:00 PM: Pick up from activity and give a snack in the car.
5:30 PM: Get home, and the kid does homework while you start dinner. You're multitasking, not micromanaging.
6:15 PM: Dinner time. Together, if you can, but if it's solo, that's okay too.
6:45 PM: Bath or shower. It's even better if it's a warm, chill-out moment.
7:15 PM: Listen to soothing music, maybe some family TV time. or a book. It's a little screen, a little unwind, and much bonding.
8:00 PM: Start the consistent bedtime routine.
8:30 PM: Lights out.
No, it's not perfect. Yes, things will shift some days. But you've got a framework. You've got space to flex. And more importantly, you've got a rhythm your child can rely on. That's gold.
Saying No Is a Superpower!
Here's your permission slip to stop being the family Uber.
If your partner can't pitch in for activities and you're running ragged—cut back. Not everything needs a "yes." Your kid doesn't need five extracurriculars at seven years old. What do they need? Room to rest. Home time. Free play. A strong sleep environment and a rhythm support their growing bodies and minds.
We trimmed back our activity list after realizing we were eating out of Tupperware in the car more than at the kitchen table. That's when it clicked—this isn't sustainable. The calm that came after saying "no" to some activities was exactly what our whole family needed.
And saying no to karate this season doesn't mean saying no forever. Reassess every quarter. Check-in with your family. What's working? What's not? Then adjust. That's how we stay aligned with our values and keep things fun.
The Secret Sauce? Rest + Rhythm = Resilience
Big kids still want assistance settling down, even though they may not have tantrums at bedtime anymore (at least not all the time). A peaceful sleeping environment and consistent routines can help with that. Think dim lighting, quiet time, a favourite stuffed animal, or white noise. Maybe your child loves to listen to soothing music as part of their wind-down routine—go with it.
Structure doesn't mean rigidity. It means predictability. It gives your child (and you!) the security of knowing what to expect. And when the days are jam-packed, that predictability becomes the grounding force that helps everyone sleep better.
You've Got This—One Evening at a Time!
Life with big kids is busy. There's no denying it. But you're not failing if you're overwhelmed—you're just living real life. With a bit of time management, intense, consistent routines, a peaceful sleep environment, and a sprinkle of grace, you can support healthy sleep duration for your child while still letting them live a whole, happy life.
The truth is—that bedtime doesn't have to be a battleground. It can be a gift, a reset, and a connection time. You're doing fantastic. Remember to say no, reevaluate frequently, keep things simple, and always put the importance of rest first if you ever feel like you're regressing.
You've earned your couch moment, so now put those kids to bed and enjoy it.
I'd love to know about your evenings if this struck a chord with you! You deserve serenity, too, so please leave a comment, like, and subscribe for more real-life sleep chat.
Did you know? I also host a weekly Q&A on my Instagram. Tune in or send me a DM on the 'gram!
I work with families one-on-one all the time who are experiencing issues with their babies' naps, overnight sleep, and more. If this sounds like you, please book a 15-minute sleep assessment call just so I can understand a little bit more about your child's sleep and then explain ways that I can work one-on-one with you to get it in order.
May your coffee be warm,
Sarah
Sarah is a Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert based in the NY/NJ Tri-State area and has helped over 500 families worldwide get their sleep back on track.
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